


Confession

by AliNovak



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Love Confessions, M/M, Short One Shot, Voicemail, season 13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 08:51:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11870844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliNovak/pseuds/AliNovak
Summary: Dean's life after Cas' death





	Confession

The funeral was quick. They had to deal with Lucifer’s son at the moment so there was no time for sentimentalisms. Burying him was never an option. They could have done that, yeah, but he was a hunter after all, the right way to get it done was summed to a pile of wood, gas and fire. Since they were kids they always had to deal with damn fire. Sam thought that keeping his trench coat was a good idea but again, they had no time for such thing, though, he didn’t say anything when Dean pulled the cassette tape and his phone out of his pockets. Burning a body is always a very slow process but they stayed there as long as the flames consumed their best friend’s vessel. It was the least they could do. They did the same with Kelly.

Finding their mother wasn’t an option for Dean. _Lucifer probably killed her as soon as he realized they were trapped in that apocalyptical world_ he thinks but Sam holds onto the big _probably_ of that thought. All that Dean wanted in that moment was to kill the Nephilim but it wasn’t a smart choice. Even with the Colt they couldn’t have harmed him just because he’s Lucifer’s child. Now with the Colt destroyed and no more options he had to give Sam a chance to prove that Jack wasn’t bad after all. The fact that the devil himself was his father wasn’t a proof for Sam to determinate if he’s evil or not. _Bullshit,_ Dean thought but the least he could do was wait until Jack did something odd, besides, he understands why Sam empathizes with him, the whole demon blood subject is still not an easy topic for Sam to talk about but Dean understands and doesn’t mention it. Without Crowley there’s a mess in hell so they have no time to mourn the loss of their friend and mother properly. They cannot longer say they have found a case, instead, cases found them and they have work to do. Complete weeks passes and they work in autopilot mode. No rest for the wicked. Same as it ever was. Sam didn’t say anything when he caught Dean calling Cas’ number, just to hear his stupid voicemail, just to hear Cas’ voice. He’d like that Dean would talk with him about it but when Sam brings Cas’ name to the subject, Dean claims that he doesn’t want to talk about it. Of course, this is Dean Winchester after all, but in a particular night and after a few drinks, Dean storms into his room and sits tiredly on his bed. He bites his bottom lip, then he nibbles at a small cut in his thumb and starts to thump his boot against the floor. After a few minutes he stands up and begins to wander in his room like a lion in a cage. He eventually stops and pulls his phone out of his pocket, he presses Cas’ name and after a few beeps he hears the voice he’s been longing to hear for many, many weeks now.

 _This is my voicemail, make your voice… a mail._ Dean never thought that that silly message could’ve had the power of creating a knot in his throat but it does now. He calls again and he’s met with the same thing, of course, what is he thinking? That Cas will answer all of a sudden? He snorts and swallows considering how stupid this is, how stupid he is. He runs a hand through his face and rubs at his eyelids. He’s so tired. Tired of pretending he’s okay. Tired of pretending nothing’s going on. He’s not sure of doing what he’s about to do but it’s not like Cas will hear his message, it’s not like _anyone_ will hear this message, he’s the one who keeps Cas’ phone deep down in a drawer, now out of battery. He takes a deep breath and calls Cas’ number one more time.

 _This is my voicemail, make your voice… a mail._ A single tear runs down Dean’s cheek as he hears the beep that indicates that is his turn to talk. “Hey Cas,” he’s a bit startled at how broken his voice came out. He swallows and takes another deep breath before continuing, “this is my confession.”

**Author's Note:**

> This will probably have a second part


End file.
